i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
