Just cropdusted the office
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
