she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
