Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
