i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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