is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
4 words: hood of his car
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
