those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
