i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
