I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
