Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
