We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
