there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
