How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
