I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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