Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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