does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
