Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
