wanna go halves on a baby?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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