please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
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