Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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