i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
