i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
