Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
