I murdered the dance floor call the cops
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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