I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
