We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
