Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
