Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
3 2 1 whiskey
Randomize
