I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
