your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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