just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
