Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
