She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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