She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
