My room smells like vodka and shame
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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