He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I am naked and annoyed.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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