he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I have post one night stand depression
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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