I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
