i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
