i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
