This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
