That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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