It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
