The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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