I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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