i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
