I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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