Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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