the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
