How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
