if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
