I just made out with a guy for $7.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
