You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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