I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Please, let me fuck your mom
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
