I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
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