i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I should be sponsored by Trojan
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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