pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
